Forrest Gump (1994)

Director: Robert Zemeckis

Writers: Winston Groom, Eric Roth

Starring: Tom Hanks, Robin Wright, Gary Sinise

Forrest Gump is a classic tale about an inspirational character who’s travels take us through our history.  There are so many classic quotes from Forrest Gump, where do I begin?  From being a collegiate All-American to a war veteran.  From an international ping pong champion to the head of a shrimping empire.  Tom Hanks put on an incredible performance.  Enjoy the classic Social Quotes!

Social Quoter Rating: 9.5/10
Social Quotes:

“She said they was my magic shoes.”

“My momma always said that life was like a box of chocolates…you never know what you’re gonna get.”

“Your momma sure does care about your schoolin’ son.”

“You don’t say much do ya? ‘eee-eee-eee-eee-eee-eee-eee-eee’.”

“Seat’s taken!”

“I’m Forrest, Forrest Gump.”

“Can’t sit here!”

“We was like peas and carrots.”

“My legs are just fine and dandy.”

“Are you stupid or something?”

“My momma said stupid is a stupid does.”

“Run Forrest, Run!!”

“From that day on, if I was goin’ somewhere…I was running!!”

“That boy sure is a runnin’ fool.”

“It used to be, I ran to get where I was goin’.  I never thought it would take me anywhere.”

“He must be the stupidest son of a bitch alive, but he sure is fast!”

“Now the really good thing about meeting the President of the United States is the food!”

“I gotta pee.”

“I must have drank me about 15 Dr. Peppers.”

“You ever been on a real shrimp boat?”

“My name’s Forrest Gump.  People call me Forrest Gump.”

“I know everything there is to know about the shrimpin’ business.”

“Gump! What’s your sole purpose here? ‘To do whatever you tell me Drill Sergeant?’”

“Why did you put that weapon together so quickly Gump?  ‘Because you told me to Drill Sergeant?’”

“You better tuck that in, before you get it stuck in a trip wire or somethin’.”

“Socks.  Cushioned sole, OD Green.”

“Two standing orders in this platoon.  One, take good care of your feet.  And two, don’t do anything stupid,  like get yourself killed.”

“I sure hope I don’t let him down.”

“And we was always lookin’ for this guy named Charlie.”

“We’ve been through every kinda rain there is.  Itty bitty sting-ing rain…big ol’ fat rain…rain comin’ in sideways…even rain comin’ up from underneath.”

“And that’s all I have to say about that.”

“They said it was a million dollar wound…but the Army must keep that money because I ain’t seen a nickel of that million dollars.”

“Do you know what it’s like not to be able to use your legs? ‘Yes sir, I do!’”

“Yes sir, hit me right in the buttocks.”

“Everywhere I went, I had to stand in line.”

“Well there’s only one thing I can say about the war in Vietnam.”

“Jenny and me were just like peas and carrots again.”

“I was a celebrity.  I was even more famous-er than Captain Kangaroo.”

“They gave you…a Congressional Medal of Honor?”

“Have you found Jesus yet Gump? ‘I didn’t know I was supposed to be lookin’ for him Sir.’””

“If you’re ever a shrimp boat captain, that’s the day I’m an astronaut!”

“I’m sorry I ruined your New’s Year’s Eve party Lieutenant Dan…she tasted like cigarettes.”

“He didn’t like to be called crippled, just like I didn’t like being called stupid.”

“So I went…again.  And I met the President of the United States again.”

“I thought I’d try out my sea legs. ‘But you don’t got no legs Lieutenant Dan.”

“Where the hell’s this God of yours?”

“You call this a storm?!?!”

“You’ll never…sink…this…boat!”

“Bubba Gump Shrimp…it’s a household name.”

“Yes sir, we got more money than Davey Crockett.”

“Sometimes, I guess there just not enough rocks.”

“I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is.”

“I just felt like running!”

“You got new legs, new legs!”

“If there’s anything you need, I won’t be far away.”

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Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995)

Director: Steve Oedekerk

Writers: Jack Bernstein, Steve Oedekerk

Starring: Jim Carrey, Ian McNeice, Simon Callow

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls is yet another classic sequel that disproves the theory that sequels can never be better than the original!  Jim Carrey puts on another hilarious performance!  Ace Ventura is back as the korky yet effective pet detective.  His travels take him to Africa, where he takes a case to rescue a sacred tribal bat.  This is a must-watch movie that will make anyone laugh!

Social Quoter Rating: 8.5/10

Social Quotes:
Well if you were me, then I’d be you, and I’d use your body to get to the top!”

You can’t stop me, no matter who you are!  Hoo-hoo Loser!

Reheheheheeeheheeeaaaallllyyy!

You are more one than anyone!

I’ve never seen them act like that before.  Denial can be an ugly thing.

Everyone loves a slinky, gotta go get a slinky!  Slinky, slinky, go slinky go!

I’m sorry, how selfish of me.  Let’s do all the things that YOU wanna do!

There’s….someone on the wing…some….thing!!

Nonsense poopy pants!

Like a glove!!!!

You might wanna think about getting this baby detailed.

Spank you, spank you very much!

And you must be the Monopoly guy!

Hey, thanks for the free parking.

Alrighty then!

Do not pass Go!  Do not collect $200!

Please!!  Don’t…get up.

It’s lovely, but I fancy myself in autumn!

High ho Silver, awaaaayyyyy!!

Of course not, this is a lovely room of death.

Take care now.  Bye, bye then.

I’m not touching it though…noooo spank you!

Bumble Bee Tuna!  Bumble Bee Tuna!

Excuse me, your balls are showing, Bumble Bee Tuna!

Aren’t I the popular one!  Allow me to display my affection!

It is the mucus that binds us.

Chicaca!

Shicasha! Shish kabob.   Shawshank Redemption.  Chi-ca-go!  You’re outta there!

Fe…fi…fo…fum…I…smell…the fingerprints of scum!  Better dust the place.

Spank you Helpy Helperton.

Meeting secretly with sinister types much?  Much too much? How much too much?

It’s kinda hot in these rhinos!

I can feel it.  I can feel it like it’s right…in my NECK!

Three darts is too much!!

Guano bowls…collect the whole set!

I was unaware that the Wachutus…were biters!!

It’s in the bone, it’s in the bone!!

This old dog just picked up a scent.

Water tastes good! Glub…Glub!

Ahhh-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-Alrighty Theeeeennnn!

Let’s go kick some…Consulate butt!

Wrong again, sweeny toad!

Can you feel that, Captain Compost! (While humping the air)

Alrighty then, shall we go to jail!

Hey what are ya, H&R Shove & Stuff?

You see, humans and animals can live in harmony!

Say hello to my stinky little friend!

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Hot Tub Time Machine (2010)

Director: Steve Pink
Writers: Josh Heald, Sean Anders
Starring: John Cusak, Rob Corddry, Craig Robinson

What else can you say about Hot Tub Time Machine except outrageous!  Four friends go back in time to 1986 with the help of a time-traveling hot tub.  While back in time, these four friends were given a second chance to change the way their meager existence.  Rob Corddry is an untamed beast in this film as he proved to be the Social Quoter’s favorite character!  Enjoy the great Social Quotes that follow!

Social Quotes:

The taxidermist is stuffing my mother.

Can’t you be like a war hero, or a shaman or an orc or some shit like that.

No in life you make choices…and if you screw up you have to pay for those choices.

He’s like the friend who’s the asshole, but he’s our asshole.

If I wanted to kill myself, I’d fucking kill myself.  I’d be awesome at it!  Shotgun to the dick!

Did I get that on you? Relax it’s only pee…alright, it’s ONLY pee.

You suck and you know it.  You just ruined my fucking weekend!

For your information I’ve had a lot of girlfriends…hot ones. ‘You’ve had lots of boyfriends…gay ones.’

First Love…The One That Got Away…Great White Buffalo….great white buffalo.

One of us is gonna start writing a novel…we’re gonna get snowed in…and Lou’s gonna ax-murder us all.

Weber fucking Agnew?  You took your wife’s last name? You’re a fucking hyphenate?

You look like a progressive guy, would you do that? ‘No.’ No, and he has a go-tie!

Yeah, I want the girl in the picture too…no Tom Foolery.

Can she do four? Three? Ok Jacob you’re out.  I need three thousand dollars. ‘Oh I’m not in.’ Adam I need two thousand dollars me and you buddy!

Let’s create a memory huh? Let’s get some cocaine and break into a school and steal a cop car!  Do you have Ridolin? ‘No.’ Don’t fucking lie to me! Ev-every one of you people have Ridolin.  ‘Well I have some Adavan, but it’s not the same thing.’

You guys gotta get in here, it’s gonna fucking change you!

It’s called male bonding, haven’t you even seen Wild Hogs?

Tips down!  Tips fucking down! Right away!  Let’s ride!

What is that one plank thing that guy’s got? ‘I don’t care, it’s going up his ass.’

Excuse me, what color is Michael Jackson? ‘Black.’  Aaahhhh!!

That’s probably Astin Kolchak telling us we’ve been Punk’d or whatever.

I got stuck back here in the 80’s and I hate this decade!

You’re an insurance salesman you’re practically the devil!

We’re stuck in the fucking 80’s!  How am I supposed to get a job?!

Yeah he fucked you up.  You cried and peed.

Here’s a crazy story, I got hit by a truck, yeah trying to save a baby deer…if you can believe that.

Come on Chaz.  They could be some 21 Jump Street…battalion-type dudes!

By the way I love your coat, I don’t give a shit about animals either.

You have to embrace the chaos, you have to, that way life might just astonish you.

Wow good for you. ‘I know right.’ It’s like Gary Coleman’s fucking forearm!

We could combine Twitter and Viagra…Twitagra.

Me and my boys got some shit-kicking to do but this…uh…uh…isn’t over.

How do I get a hold of you? ‘You come find me.’ That just sounds….exhausting!

I didn’t burn them, because I like it that way!

If you want to look up porn or a restaurant review or something like that you use Lougle? ‘Correct.’  I bet you he’s on the Statue of Liberty and shit too.

Yeah I believe there’s still alcohol in Scotch.

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Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)

Director: Tom Shadyac
Writer: Jack Bernstein, Tom Shadyac, Jim Carrey
Starring: Jim Carrey, Courtney Cox, Sean Young

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective is a classic Jim Carrey comedy!  Carrey steals the show with his outrageous performance.  Ace Ventura is a pet detective in Miami.  The story takes place just before the Miami Dolphins play in the Super Bowl.  Ventura tackles his biggest case yet when snowflake, the Dolphins mascot was taken from his tank.  This is a Social Quoter top ten!  Some of the most historic and hilarious quotes come from this movie.  Enjoy!

Social Quoter Rating: 8.5/10


Social Quotes
:
“We’re goin’ downtown.”

“Alrighty then.”

“It sounds broken.  ‘Most likely sir.  I’ll bet it was something nice though’.

“Take care now, bye bye then.”

“Lohoo-zeher!”

“Warning.  Assholes are closer than they appear!”

“Yes Satan?  Oh I’m sorry sir, you sounded like someone else.

“I never bring my work home with me, sir.”

“No, the guy with the rubber glove was surprisingly gentle.”

“If I’m not back in five minutes…just wait longer.”

“I just can’t do it captain…I don’t have the power!”

“Holy Testicle Tuesday!”

“I came to confess.  I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll.”

“How would you like for me to make your life a living hell? ‘Well I’m not really ready for a relationship Lois, but thank you for asking’.”

“Hey maybe I’ll give you call sometime.  You’re number’s still 911? Alrighty then!”

“Reheheheheheheeeheeheeally!”

“Hi Captain Stoobing.  How are Gopher and Doc?  Permission to come aboard sir!”

“And congratulations on all your success, you smell terrific!”

“Stuff probably looks better on the way out huh? Haha!”

“Yummy!!”

“Had I been drinking out of the toilet, I might have been killed!

“Do not go in there!  Wooo!”

“I have exercised the demons!  This house…is clear.”

“Can you feel that body? Huh? Huh? Huh?”

“I don’t do humans.”

“Nothin, nathin’, nada, aight!?”

“Oh my God!  Three times? ‘I’m sorry that’s never happened before….I must be tired…Ok I’m ready again’.”

“Hi, I’m looking for Ray Finkle…and a clean pair of shorts!”

“The engine’s runnin’ but there’s nobody behind the wheel.”

“Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in Hell.  Would you like a cookie son?”

“Thought I left didn’t ya?  Ok I’m really gonna go this time.”

“Is it number one or number two?  I just wanna know how much time I have.”

“Maybe I was wrong about you.  Maybe you are more than just a pet…dick.”

“Your gun is digging into my hip! “

“I’m ready to go in coach, just give me a chance! I know there’s a lot riding on it, but it’s all psychological. “

“351!! 351!! Rover, sit!! Hut…Hut!!”

“Einhorn and Finkle, Finkle and Einhorn!”

“Be careful with that phone Lieutenant, in time you could develop a tumor.”

“That’ s why Roger Padacter is dead…he found Captain Winky!”

“Hey Ace, do you have any more of that gum? ‘That’s none of your damn business and I thank you for staying out of my personal affairs!’”

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My Cousin Vinny (1992)

Director: Jonathan Lynn
Writer: Dale Launer
Starring: Joe Pesci, Marisa Tomei, Ralph Macchio

My Cousin Vinny is a classic comedy with Joe Pesci and Marisa Tomei at their funniest!  The story begins with Bill Gambini and Stan Rothstein who decide to drive cross-country to see America before they go to school.  While in Alabama, the two friends are accused of murder.  The only lawyer they know is Bill’s cousin Vinny, a New Yorker who still has a lot to learn about the law.  Vinny’s lack of experience is overpowered by his ability to argue and the quotes are proof!  Enjoy!

Social Quoter Rating: 7.10

Social Quotes:
I shot the clerk?  I shot the clerk?

My cousin Vinny!

You stick out like a sore thumb around here.

Oh yeah, you blend.

You’re famous for your mud?  How’s your Chinese food?

And what are you a fucking world traveler?

It’s either me, or them….either way you’re getting fucked!

Hmm what should I do?  Get my ass kicked or collect $200?  I could use a good ass kicking I’m not gonna lie.

Are you sure? ‘I’m positive.’  How could you be so sure?

You were serious about that?

You’re in Ala-fucking-bama.  You’re from New York.   You killed a good ol’ boy.  There is nooo way this is not going to trial!

I don’t see no stars.

You get that…the whole store got the flu.

It’s called disclosure you dickhead!

Truth….that’s what verdict means.  It’s a word that comes down from little ol’ England, and all our little old ancestors.

Is it possible the two yutes….

What is a yute? ‘Oh, excuse me your honor, youths!

I got no more use for this guy.

No don’t, I’m gonna stay in prison tonight.  Maybe I’ll finally get some sleep!

Maybe it’s time for a thicker set of glasses.

This is your opinion? ‘It’s a fact!’

You know this could be a sign of things to come.  You win case after case.  Then afterwards you have to go up to somebody and you have to say thank you….Oh god what a fucking nightmare!

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Scarface (1983)

Director: Brian De Palma
Writer: Ben Hecht, Howard Hawks, Oliver Stone
Starring: Al Pacino, Michelle Pfeiffer, Steven Bauer

Scarface is a classic movie about power, greed, and a lot of cocaine.  The story revolves around a Cuban immigrant named Tony Montana, who comes to the US as a refugee.  Montana works his way up to become the leader of a drug cartel in the United States.  However, he lets his power and his greed get the best of him.  When it comes to quotes, Scarface has some of the most classic you will ever find.  The Social Quoter recommends this movie as a top ten favorite!  Enjoy the quotes!

Social Quoter Rating: 9/10

Social Quotes:
“He’s dead, he died…sometime…somewhere.”

“How am I gonna get a scar like that eating pussy man?”

“This was when I was a kid…you know…you should see the other kid man, you can’t recognize him.”

“You know I eat octopus three times a day man.  I got fucking octopus coming out of my fucking ears man.”

“I told him what you told me to tell him I told him….I was in sanitation…they didn’t go for it. ‘I told you to tell him, you was in a sanitarium!  Not sanitation…sanitarium, yeah.’”

“Conjo, man I know that name.”

“He’s ugly man.”

“You tell your guys in Miami…your friend, I kill a communist for fun…but for a green card, I’m gonna carve him up real nice.”

“Liberdad! Liberdad! Liberdad! Liberdad!  Liberdad!”

“I didn’t come to the United States to break my fucking back mijo!”

“And what I did for you guys in Freedomtown, what was that?  That Rebenga hit was a game of dominos or what man huh?”

“You worry too much man you gonna have a heart attack.”

“I don’t like fucking Colombians man.”

“No se mueve cabronsito!!”

“Que te pasa man?”

“Sure I have the stuff but I don’t have it with me now.  I got it close by…no te apures.”

“No, not in the car man.”

“Why don’t you try sticking you head up your ass…see if it fits.”

“Yeah, bunch of cowboys.”

“You don’t have to mention that…that was fun.  Yeah sometimes it’s fun.“

“You know what a haza is? It’s a pig that don’t fly straight!”

“That sound like a bird, hancock, flying around!”

“What you talking crazy for?”

“Now your talking to me baby, that I like!”

“I know…the eyes chico….they never lie.”

“‘Oh and what’s coming to you Tony?’  The world chico…and everything in it.”

“This town is great pussy just waiting to be fucked.”

“I tell you if I come here 10 years ago, I’d be a millionaire by this time.  By this time, I’d have my own boat, my own car, my own…golf course.”

“You know what I want….I thought of this the other day, a line of blue jeans right, with my name written on the back of chicks asses…”

“Girls like ice cream.”

“In this country, you gotta make the money first.  And when you get the money, you get the power. And when you get the power, then you get the women.”

“I like Frank you know…only I like you better!”

“You gotta do some things….have some fun.  You gotta get some fun out of life.”

“You got good stuff here.  Class A shit!”

“All I have in this world is my balls and my word, and I ain’t breakin’ em for no one!”

“I tell you only one time.  Don’t fuck me Tony, don’t you ever try to fuck me.”

“I got ears, you know.  I hear things.”

“I bury those cockroaches!”

“I come from the gutter…I know that.  I got no education…that’s ok.”

“With the right woman…there’s no stopping me.  I go right to the top.”

“The only thing that gives orders is balls.  You got that?  Balls.”

“I’m not gonna kill you Frank.”

“I’ve been staring at the thing for three days, what am I gonna do, not look at it?”

“Nothing exceeds like success.  You should know that Tony.”

“You know what your problem is pussycat.”

“Anything beats lying around here waiting for me to fuck you I’ll tell you that.”

“I was only kidding!!!”

“You know you should listen to your wife, you know.  You are an asshole man.”

“Hey!  Who put this thing together?! Me!  That’s who!!  Who do I trust?! Me!”

“I call my lawyer.  He’s the best lawyer in Miami.  He’s such a good lawyer, that by tomorrow morning, you’re gonna be working in Alaska…so dress warm.”

“Tony the law has to prove beyond a reasonable doubt.  I’m an expert at raising that doubt.  But when you’ve got a million, three undeclared dollars staring into a video camera, honey baby it’s hard convincing a jury you found it in a taxi cab.”

“No no problem.”

“I can’t even have kid with her man.  Her womb is so polluted, that I can’t even have a fucking baby with her man.”

“You need people like me.  So you can point your fucking fingers, and say ‘that’s the bad guy’!”

“So say good night to the bad guy!  It’s the last time you’re gonna see a bad guy that looks like this, let me tell you.”

“One time, that’s all you gotta tell me ok?”

“You wanna go to war, I fucking take you to war ok!!”

“You fuck with me…you fucking with the best!”

“You wanna play rough?!  Say hello to my little friend!”

 

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